I turn 22 this year.
Three years ago, when I started university, things felt like they were moving in the opposite direction. I was in a toxic relationship with someone who was a pathological liar, had very little confidence in myself, and constantly compared my progress to everyone around me. I leaned on habits that numbed anxiety instead of dealing with it directly.
Fast forward to today, and things look very different. I’ve cut out weed, alcohol, and almost all junk food. I've rebuilt strong relationships with my family and friends, and I moved to San Francisco for an internship - living the dream of most tech undergrad students.
2025 was the first year in a long time where my life genuinely felt like it was trending upward - not because I discovered some productivity hack or started waking up at 5 a.m., but because I had to confront a few uncomfortable truths about myself.
Here are the three lessons that changed everything.
1. Jealousy Isn’t What I Thought It Was
For a long time, I thought jealousy meant wanting what other people had.
Better jobs. Better relationships. Better physiques. Better lives.
But that’s not jealousy - that’s envy. Jealousy is subtler and more uncomfortable. It’s the fear that someone else’s success threatens your identity.
I’d feel it scrolling through Instagram or LinkedIn, especially when I saw friends doing impressive things. The feeling wasn’t “I want their life.” It was more like, “I’m falling behind in some invisible competition.”
That realization hit hard.
What I was really reacting to wasn’t their success - it was my ego telling me I wasn’t doing enough, that I wasn’t measuring up, that people were watching and judging. I was comparing my unfinished goals and insecurities to other people’s highlight reels.
What helped wasn’t eliminating jealousy entirely - that’s unrealistic. What helped was building evidence for myself.
When I focused on things that felt meaningful to me - fitness, creating videos, strengthening relationships - the jealousy started to fade. Not because others stopped succeeding, but because my identity stopped fighting back every time I saw it.
When your life feels meaningful even when nobody else is watching, you feel far less pressure to prove anything.
2. Never Outsource Your Confidence
Growing up, I was constantly told I was “smart” or “a fast learner.” That praise wasn’t wrong, but over time it taught me something dangerous: that confidence should come from external validation.
I didn’t realize how much I relied on approval until I was admitted into the University of Waterloo. Suddenly, half the room was smarter than me. The job market was rough. The milestones I thought I needed weren’t happening fast enough.
Without visible wins, my confidence collapsed.
I felt like I needed a recognizable company name, a Bay Area internship, or some external proof just to feel worthy of respect. Without it, I felt invisible - like I didn’t deserve confidence at all.
That mindset leads people to do weird things: oversharing, posturing, chasing shallow validation, constantly trying to appear impressive. It only deepens insecurity.
What helped was doing the opposite.
I became quieter. I stopped trying to impress people. I got comfortable making mistakes publicly and being honest about insecurities. Saying uncomfortable truths out loud forced me to stop lying to myself.
Real confidence didn’t come from approval - it came from becoming someone I actually respected.
3. Don’t Let Pain Turn Into Resentment
Pain is unavoidable. Resentment is optional.
When I first started university, I carried a lot of bitterness - especially around money. My dad passed away the year before I started school, and my family situation wasn’t stable. Watching other students move freely without those worries made me feel angry and entitled.
I subconsciously believed that because I’d gone through something tragic, life owed me something in return.
That mindset leaked into everything. When I saw someone succeed, I told myself they were just lucky. That’s resentment disguised as rationalization - a way of convincing yourself that the game is rigged so you don’t have to confront reality.
What changed things was taking responsibility.
In 2025, I stopped viewing money as something unfairly distributed and started treating it as something I was responsible for long-term. I planned instead of compared. I allowed myself to spend and give back without guilt. Slowly, the bitterness loosened its grip.
Grief deserves compassion. Resentment only keeps you stuck.
Still Early, Still Learning
I don’t have things figured out. I still feel insecure. I still catch myself worrying about how I’m perceived. That hasn’t magically disappeared.
But I stopped wishing for an easier life. I stopped comparing myself to surface-level wins. I stopped relying on others to validate my worth.
That’s when things started to click.
I began living for myself instead of an invisible audience - and ironically, that’s what helped me make real progress.
There’s still a lot left to learn, film, and talk about. But for the first time in a while, I’m okay with that.
the above was written completely by ChatGPT (but based on my youtube vid that i actually made, go watch it)